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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in thischarmngman's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, September 25th, 2007
2:18 pm
"Thus I want to die myself that you, my friends, may love the earth more for my sake; and to earth i want to return that i may find rest in her who gave birth to me."
Sunday, September 16th, 2007
5:44 pm
why does fall always have to feel like this?

i'm cold.

good bye.

Current Mood: lonely
Friday, September 14th, 2007
2:02 am
the easiest way to lose something is to want it too badly.

Current Mood: crappy
Saturday, July 28th, 2007
5:50 pm
im going insane and thats a fact.

Current Mood: crappy
Thursday, April 12th, 2007
12:23 pm
i wish i had some way of expressing myself.
Wednesday, March 28th, 2007
2:12 pm
loose n' juicy!
haha man im fucking horny dude.

Current Mood: horny
Tuesday, March 20th, 2007
12:44 am
i won't say another word, ive said my piece.

and tonight im pathetic.

happy and sad and back again.

life goes on man.
Monday, March 19th, 2007
1:19 am
i love lou reed.

i have learned to embrace being poor and strung out all the time.

i like how ive been living my life lately. i work hard and i play harder and kicking ass at both.

i love my friends.

i love smoking cigarettes listening to music and wondering how im going to eat my next meal, let alone pay bills without asking my folks for more cash.

i think im finally okay. i don't consider myself different anymore, i realize we're all cats just trying to get by...and it's cool no matter how you do it. and everything will probably come out alright in the end. because through it all you'll always have some good times in there mixed in with the bullshit. everyday i grow, and yeah im still afraid of what i may become or where i may end up, but hey man it will be a hell of a ride. i mean im fucking scared to death, but i know ill be okay.

i do wish i had a companion to share things with. it just feels like there's something missing and im a little lonely. lately ive been missing a few people, but it's comforting to look back on times and be able to smile. i don't want to live in the past but it's nice to know that it will always be there to dust of and reflect upon, like and old tattered book on the shelf that you can always open.

these our the pages of our lives, and everyday is like a choose your own adventure book.

rock and roll.

Current Mood: mellow
Thursday, February 15th, 2007
1:00 am
ist mein leben getraumt oder ist es wahr?

Current Mood: melancholy
Monday, February 12th, 2007
4:40 pm
i have a crush on lily allen

uh oh
Monday, January 29th, 2007
2:03 pm
Sick to death of my dependence, fighting food to find transcendence
Fighting to survive, more dead but more alive
Cigarettes and speed for livin', and sleeping pills to feel forgiven
Friday, January 26th, 2007
10:32 am
i give up.

give in to the white devil.

i'll be dead in two months.
Thursday, January 25th, 2007
1:53 pm
being bummed all the time is getting annoying.
Thursday, November 16th, 2006
12:05 pm
let the good times roll
woah! what do you know, another shitty day.

sometimes i sear to hell that i'm charlie fucking brown.

least it was a short swim from my appartment to the t.

man fuck it.

Current Mood: cynical
Saturday, November 11th, 2006
4:08 am
crazy crazy crazy fuck fuck fuck crazy crazy crazy fuck


1:17 am

i don't even really know why i go home anymore.

i always think it will make me feel better, but most of the time i just feel worse. sure it's great spending time with my parents. and there isn't anything better than talking to my dad on the way back. but i get here, and i realize there isn't anything for me in this town anymore. guess there really isn't anything for me anywhere anymore.

fuck it.
Friday, October 27th, 2006
11:03 am
when you're back in your old neighborhood the cigarettes taste so good, but you're so misunderstood.

Current Mood: crappy
Wednesday, October 4th, 2006
5:04 pm
Who are you from That '70s Show?

Steven Hyde played by Danny Masterson

Current Mood: tired
Sunday, September 10th, 2006
2:18 am
I know you're alone
In the dark, all alone
Underneath the covers
Hiding from the demons
That came for your soul.

They might be over in the closet
They might be underneath your bed
They might be just outside your window, baby
Or maybe just inside your head.

But if you let me stay over
I'll try to keep you safe
I've got an army of skeletons
To chase your demons away.

I know that you're scared
You're in the dark, so scared
Simply terrified, no one'll hear you screaming
If they could would they care?

There's only one way to find out
I pray that day never comes
For that would mean the ending of you, baby
The end of you, my love.

But if you let me stay over
I'll try to keep you safe
I've got an army of skeletons
To chase your demons away.

And baby, I can tell you've been crying
Oh baby, I know you've been lying to me
Yes indeed.
Oh baby, I can tell you don't sleep no more
Oh baby, believe me I've been there before.

If you let me stay over
I'll try to keep you safe
I've got an army of skeletons
To chase your demons away.

Current Mood: don't worry about it
2:03 am
i don't what im going to do.

i don't know how to get better, because i don't even know whats wrong with me.

all i know is that it's never been this bad before, and has gone on for this long.

i used to be able to control it...feel it comming on and kill it before it took hold. but now i feel as if it's too late.

before i felt like as bad as things got, i still had hope that it would someday be better. but now, i posses no such hope. because i know it's not going to change...do i even want it to? doesn't my own pain help others?

no, that's just self-absorbed bullshit.

it's all so tiring, and it is getting debilitating. im run down and burnt out.

it may be time to say good bye.
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